An Army widow whose officer husband was killed by a roadside bomb in Afghanistan 15 years ago plans to run 93 miles on the anniversary of her husband’s death this Sunday to raise money for the families of fallen soldiers.

Lisa Hallett will ascend and descend 22,000 feet along Mount Rainier’s Wonderland Trail during her run, to honor the death of her husband, Army Capt. John Hallett, who died serving his country.

Capt. Hallett, 30, died on August 25th, 2009, when a roadside bomb exploded near his vehicle in Afghanistan. He was returning from delivering medicine to a village struck by cholera.

Hallett was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 17th Infantry Regiment, 5th Stryker Brigade, 2nd Infantry Division at Ft. Lewis, Washington. Three other soldiers — Capt. Cory J. Jenkins, Sgt. 1st Class Ronald W. Sawyer and Pfc. Dennis M. William — also died in the blast.

The run is being organized in conjunction with wear blue: run to remember, a non-profit organization Lisa Hallett founded to foster community for the families of service members who have died. The group organizes community runs and seeks to “honor the service and sacrifice of the American military through active remembrance,” according to its website.

Cpt. John Hallett was delivering medicine to a village experiencing cholera when he died in Afghanistan. (wear blue: run to remember)

The goal is to raise $150,000 for Gold Star families and survivors through the run. Supporters can make donations here.

The PenFed Foundation, a non-profit that helps provide financial opportunities to service members and veterans, is matching the first $25,000 in donations.

Hallett is the chief executive officer of wear blue and said the seeds of the company were sown shortly after her husband’s death.

One day, as she sat in her car overcome with grief, her son Jackson asked her to stop crying because she was scaring him.

“They had already lost a parent to war,” Hallett said. “It wasn’t fair for them to lose me to grief.”

Capt. Hallett left behind a three-year-old, a one-year-old, and a three-week-old baby he never got to meet.

After his death, Hallett said she started running to feel her feelings and compartmentalize them in a way that allowed her to focus on raising the three children who needed her.

She described how the run allowed her to process grief:

The first mile of the run, she’d think about her baby crying and the chaos of caring for three children alone. The second mile, she’d think about buying diapers. By mile five, she’d face the reality that her husband — who she’d known since elementary school — wasn’t coming home. By the end, she said she’d hit an emotional bottom, release, and return to the reality of caring for her kids.

“There’s just that calm that descends upon you, it sweeps through you,” Hallett said. “But I needed that vehicle of movement.”

Her solo runs eventually morphed into tandem runs with fellow Army wife Erin O’Connor, and soon those runs blossomed into an organization that has seen 45,000 people participate in its events.

The Hallett family. (wear blue:run to remember)

The running communities they’ve built also span the globe, with members in Texas and Japan.

Hallett said the beauty of running is that you don’t have to have the right words, you just show up and move forward, figuring out how to literally and figuratively forge ahead one step at a time.

“It’s getting comfortable with the uncomfortable,” Hallett said.

Fifteen years later, that’s what her 93-mile run this Sunday will encompass.

The trek around Mount Rainier is slated to take between 35 and 40 hours. In preparation, she’s been logging 40 to 75-mile runs a week.

Hallett said she chose Mount Rainier for its beauty and because her husband never got to touch the mountains or see his kids grow up or explore the world like they’d planned.

Those lost opportunities for him reinforced for Hallett how important it is to live life to the fullest, she said.

“That’s how I want to honor John – in big, bold, beautiful ways,” Hallett said. “And I like to think that’s how John would have continued to live.”

Hallett said the passage of time since her husband’s death had been cruel in many ways, but also a gift.

The years had faded certain aspects of her husband, like his smell.

In the beginning, she said she could imagine him beside her.

“I could think about, you know, the crease of his pants when he sits next to me at church,” Hallett said.

All these years later, his memory became more translucent.

But time had also softened the blow of grief she felt crippled by early on.

Her husband was her best friend, her better half, the father of her children, and they planned an extraordinary life together. But at some point, Hallett realized she needed to continue growing and shaping herself in ways that weren’t defined by her husband’s death.

“I never wanted to be John Hallett’s widow,” Hallett said. “But 15 years later, I don’t want to be known as John Hallett’s widow.”

When asked by Military Times how she thought she’d feel after completing the Sunday’s run, she paused and took a deep breath.

She said the question made her remember the first big run after John’s death.

It was three months after he’d been killed and she’d just finished the Seattle Marathon.

Hallett had her phone with her, an old flip model.

After she finished, Hallett kept waiting for the phone to ring.

“Logically, I knew John wasn’t going to call,” she said. “But emotionally, it was hard to imagine having a big accomplishment in my life and my partner not being there.”

When crossing the finish line, Hallett said she expects to feel empowered and bolstered by the support of her running community.

But despite all the years, and the miles ran, Hallett said she suspects part of her will still be waiting for his call too.

Riley Ceder is an editorial fellow at Military Times, where he covers breaking news, criminal justice and human interest stories. He previously worked as an investigative practicum student at The Washington Post, where he contributed to the ongoing Abused by the Badge investigation.

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